Day 184: So I read Henry V...man, that guy's a dick

Minimalist Henry V, from my Minimalist Shakespeare series

I don't know if Shakespeare's Henry V is historically accurate, but if it is then Henry V was a jerk. He makes speeches that essentially amount to "Hey, don't blame me if I order my troops to murder all your babies and rape all the women." He has his friends killed for being thieving rogues, as though he's never even heard of hypocrisy or irony. Then he rallies troops into a potential suicide mission by saying, "C'mon guys. I thought we were friends!" (That's his famous "We the few, we merry band of brothers" speech.) Then he marries the French princess to consolidate power between France and England (she has no say in it) and when she asks him not to kiss her out of respect for propriety, he makes sexualized remarks and kisses her anyway (he doesn't kill any babies at least...well not babies). 

I guess a flawed moral compass does NOT magically correct itself once someone is given absolute power. Over all, he's heralded as a pretty good English king.

UPDATE: I realize I forgot to explain the above picture. Henry V has tennis balls. And leeks. I'm not even joking. It's hard to explain.