Day 96: What I Learned: Coriolanus, Part 2 of 2 (or, How Shakespeare's Coriolanus is like a season of 24)

Coriolanus is a little like a season of the show 24, except set in ancient Rome. Rome is facing a national (sort of) crisis. The people are threatening to revolt because of famine (possibly caused by terrorists?) and neighbouring city states are planning to attack (definitely terrorists). There's only one man who can save them.

Jack Bauer.

Coriolanus.

Caius Martius (he becomes Coriolanus later).

Sure, some people are going to die. And Caius Martius doesn't care if people suffer (like terrorists being tortured?). Hell, he even welcomes it. Plus he has a messed up family who encourage that sort of thing (Remember Day 6 of 24 when it turns out Jack's dad was an international bad guy who didn't care if his whole family died? Caius Martius' mom is sort of like that.).

In other words, Caius Martius can get the job done.

And get it done he does. He defeats the Volscians and his arch-nemesis, Aufidius, and takes the city of Corioles. Yay! He's a hero! They even call him Coriolanus now because he is so awesome. 

Except...

Just like Jack Bauer, Caius Martius' Coriolanus' success comes with a price. People are fickle and Coriolanus isn't really much of a people person. So before long there is a plot against him that results in him being an enemy of the state. Just like what happens to Jack in every season of 24. Every. Single. Season.

So what does this renegade man-without-a-country do? He enlists the help of his enemy, of course! Remember all those times when Jack has to pair up with a former terrorist (as in, up until five minutes ago) to stop the evil nuclear strike/government conspiracy/even more menacing terrorist played by the even bigger guest star? That's what Coriolanus does with Aufidius. Except he's mostly just plotting revenge against Rome instead of trying to stop a nuclear bomb.

Then it all goes sideways.

People beg Coriolanus to reconsider his crazy maverick renegade plan to single-handedly take down the empire, even though they all know that he totally could because he's so badass. Finally his mom flat out forbids it and Coriolanus apologizes and promises to stop trying to destroy Rome (I'm paraphrasing). The problem is that Aufidius is having none of Coriolanus' excuses. He's all like, "You said we were going to take over Rome, yo!" And Coriolanus is all like, "Sorry, but my mom said no." And Aufidius was all like, "TREASON! TREASON! TREASON!"

Then Aufidius takes Coriolanus and tears him apart (I'm so sorry to be gross, but that's actually what he does). That would never happen to Jack Bauer (although he has been captured by enemies a lot. Like a LOT.).

Day 91: What I Learned From Coriolanus (Part 1 of 2)

via dvdtalk.com

 Coriolanus. The man. The myth. The total douche bag.

Okay, to be fair, I haven't finished Coriolanus yet (OMFG I'm getting so behind in this project!) so this post will have a part two. But so far what I know is that Coriolanus is a total prick who hates poor people and loves war. Loooooooves it. Loves it like his mother's love depends upon it (which, btw, it totally does). Also Coriolanus isn't his real name, it's the name he's given after a victory at Corioli, which makes the beginning of the play very confusing.

So until I finish the play, here are some more pictures inspired by it. I don't understand them...not yet anyway.

via

Were there really this many women in Coriolanus? Including the boob-exposing Roman centurion woman? I don't remember that part... Man, painters love to show boob-exposure in those war scenes... (you can read that as "Man! Painters.." or "Man-painters").

I'm not sure what's going on in this Japanese version...Moving sidewalk karaoke?

from the japan centre blog

Are they the same touring company who performed at the Globe?

Day 90: It's Easter! Have I finished Coriolanus? HAVE YOU?!

Look, it's Easter. Right now I'm probably wrist deep in turkey juices and wine. I'll tell you right now, I wrote this post well in advance and scheduled to publish today (while I was also wrist deep in wine, but that's a whole other story...don't judge). I can almost guarantee you I haven't finished Coriolanus by now. But who knows? Maybe I have. It's like a mystery!

In the meantime, how about a video of animals shaking water off their fur? What does that have to do with Shakespeare? NOT A DAMN THING. 

Enjoy!

Day 89: Coriolanus has a lot of names...and citizens coming hither to speak

SCCEnglish 'Coriolanus' wordle

Mike's Riverside Shakespeare says that Coriolanus is one of Shakespeare's least popular tragedies with one of his least likable tragic heroes. Great, can't wait. :( [that's a frowny face, in case you couldn't tell...I'm frowny]

Day 87: I refuse to believe that Coriolanus is even a real play...even if it does have a movie version

via

This is a shot from the 2011 movie version of Coriolanus (which I still refuse to believe is even a real play). It's apparently about Voldemort after he got punked at prom by the popular kids. 

Day 85: New Play Tuesday! Coriolanus

from gosimpsonic.tumblr.com

Coriolanus? Has anyone even heard of this play? I feel like Bart Simpson when he encounters Roman numerals. "Coriolanus?! They didn't even TRY to teach us that in school!" Mike says by that analogy it means that someone DID try to "teach me that in school" but I just wasn't listening. Whatever. I think it's a made-up play.