Day 105: What I Learned: The Two Gentlemen of Verona, or Goddammit! This play has rape in it too? I'm so freaking sick of this!

Luigi Schiavonetti, “Valentine, Proteus, Silvia and Julia”
from “Two Gentlemen of Verona” (1852)

Oh come on, Shakespeare! Can't a just read a play that doesn't condone rape? Apparently not this month, I can't. After the horror that was Titus Andronicus, I was looking forward to a light comedy in the form of The Two Gentlemen of Verona. 

Be careful what you wish for because Shakespeare's "light" comedies usually involve something horrific.

What would it be this time? Racism? Anti-Semitism? Physical violence? Well, yes, to an extent. All of the above. Oh and rape.

One of the "gentlemen," Proteus, is "in love" with Silvia (he's "in love" with all the female characters at one point or another, not that there are very many of them) and if she doesn't feel the same way, why he'll just "woo you like a soldier, at arms' end, and love you 'gainst the nature of love,--force ye...I'll force thee yield to my desire." Charming.

But never fear! Valentine is here! He "saves" Silvia. I say he "saves" her in that he stops the rape, but then Proteus apologizes--more to Valentine than to Silvia--and how does Valentine respond? He basically says, "Aw shucks. That's okay. As long as WE'RE still friends." And then he gives Silvia to Proteus as a sign of their friendship! 

Oh and did I mention that Julia, another woman that Proteus has claimed to be in love with, sees this and freaks out because she wanted Proteus to herself? HOLY SHIT.

You know, plays like Macbeth and King Lear and Othello make me appreciate just how wonderful and timeless Shakespeare's words can be. But honestly, if he were only famous for plays like Titus Andronicus and Love's Labour's Lost and The Two Gentlemen of Verona...well I doubt he'd be famous at all. 

If you're looking to read ALL of Shakespeare's plays because, like me, you're on some sort of personal Shakespeare-based mission, then yes, you'll have to read these ones. But if you're just looking to get better acquainted with the bard to find out why he's still talked about and studied over 400 years later, then move on. These are not the plays you are looking for. 

Go back to the ones that are really, really famous. Turns out people like those ones best for a reason.

Day 98: What I Learned: Titus Andronicus (or, If I Haven't Finished This Play by Now, I Might As Well Give Up on the Whole Project)

via
This drawing fails to capture the gruesomeness disgustingness of this play.

What did I learn from Titus Andronicus? Uh, I learned that if Coriolanus is like 24, then Titus Andronicus is like Saw. Or Faces of Death. Or some lost episode of South Park that takes place entirely inside Eric Cartman's brain (see below).

Samuel Woodforde illustration of Tamora watching Lavinia dragged away to be raped, from Act 2, Scene 3; engraved by Anker S. Smith (1793) via Wikipedia
Wondering if the violence is all murder-based? Oh no, there's rape too. Fucking hell, Shakespeare.

Young Lucius stares at the body of Aaron's baby in Jane Howell's adaptation for the BBC Television Shakespeare; in the background, his father is being inaugurated as the new emperor via Wikipedia
Wondering what that is? Trust me, you don't want to know. A baby coffin. It's a fucking baby coffin. Goddammit, Shakespeare!

Tereus Confronted with the Head of his Son Itylus by Peter Paul Rubens (1637) via Wikipedia
Offended by the bosoms? Perhaps you missed the severed heads. FREAKING SEVERED HEADS, SHAKESPEARE! And I didn't even mention the MULTIPLE SEVERED HANDS and SEVERED TONGUE.

South Park Season 5, Episode 4: "Scott Tenorman Must Die" 
Oh yeah...and FORCED CANNIBALISM. Really, Shakespeare? Really?
Oh hey! Wikipedia agrees with me: The plot of "Scott Tenorman Must Die" has been compared to that of the Shakespeare tragedy Titus Andronicus, in which the humiliated protagonist also exacts revenge by feeding his enemies their own relatives. Some authors viewed the episode as not only an allusion to the violent Shakespearean tragedy, but an actual retelling of it.

What did I learn from Titus Andronicus? Uh, I learned that you can't claim to have read all of Shakespeare's plays without having read this one. Which is kind of like saying you can't really call yourself a "movie buff" without forcing yourself to watch torture porn. Goddammit, Shakespeare. Seriously, dude. This play was messed up.

Day 95: Are you near Orlando, Florida? If so, you can go see Titus Andronicus at the Orlando Shakespeare Theater!

The original caption for this photo reads:
"Chiron (Greg Joubert) has his wicked way with Lavinia (Kelly Kilgore) in "Titus Andronicus." (Tony Firriolo)"
I guess they figured "has his wicked way" accurately described "brutally raped and terrorized"
From the review in the Orlando Sentinel

The Orlando Shakespeare Theater in Orlando, Florida, is running a production of Titus Andronicus until April 28, 2013. Here's what critic Matt J. Palm had to say:

Like a graphic novel come to life, Orlando Shakespeare Theater's "Titus Andronicus" is bold, stylish and in your face. In terms of verve and theatricality, it succeeds in a most entertaining manner.

But the play's stylized trappings — raucous rock music, the actors' rock-star garb — spark conflict in a viewer's mind: Are we supposed to be laughing at the horrific bloodshed? Are we supposed to be enjoying the spectacle of brutal revenge?

Director Jim Helsinger's production is so focused on its visual thrills that it seemingly forgets there could be something more to Shakespeare's tale — admittedly one of the playwright's weaker efforts.

For more information, visit OrlandoShakes.org

Day 94: Titus Andronicus Lego: Recreate the carnage with lego!

I've posted these before, from brickshelf

I don't even want to know what the bowl is for.

Day 93: The biggest problem with a Titus Andronicus stage production seems to be sourcing all the blood

Poster for Bill Alexander's 2003 production
from Wikipedia

 So Titus Andronicus has got some blood. Like, A LOT. It must be a challenge for directors to figure out how to capture the bloodiness of the play on stage. Ick.

Hitomi Manaka as Lavinia in Yukio Ninagawa's 2006 production (Taitasu Andoronikasu) at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre; note the use of red ribbons as a stylised substitute for bloodfrom Wikipedia

I actually like the red ribbons. It's pretty gruesome (but gruesomely pretty? no, too far). Plus it's a  lot less sticky for the actors than fake blood sauce.

Laura Rees as Lavinia in Lucy Bailey's 2006 production at Shakespeare's Globe; note the 'realistic' effects and bloodfrom Wikipedia

My hands! My hands!

Day 92: New Play Tuesday! Titus Andronicus

Titus Andronicus wordle from SCC English

So based on the word cloud, one could assume that Titus Andronicus is a very polite play. Lots of "thous" and "thys," people's names used a lot, words like "sweet," "come," "enter" and "speak" cropping up. 

One would be wrong.

Titus Andronicus is a nightmare of carnage and flesh-eating. Based on the description, I'm pretty sure it's an ancient Roman version of the South Park episode "Scott Tenorman Must Die." Remember that? Times a million and you have Titus Andronicus. 

Eric Cartman licking Scott Tenorman's tears after making him eat a bowl of chili containing flesh from his parents. Holy shit.

Day 41: More Lego Shakespeare!

Othello

Here are some more Lego Shakespeare, this time from brickshelf. Enjoy!